In 2022, my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD after a long, expensive, and emotionally draining process. Her public school required the diagnosis for her to receive classroom support—though the actual accommodations haven’t been groundbreaking. However, the diagnosis did offer something transformative: it shifted her teacher’s perception. She was no longer seen as “lazy” or “defiant,” but as a child who learns differently.
This journey also made me reflect on myself. Her diagnosis was the first time I realized that my own thought patterns and behaviors might not be “typical.”
ADHD could explain a lot about me:
• Why I was the kid doodling and daydreaming instead of listening in class.
• Why I need music to focus and why silence feels oppressive.
• Why caffeine sometimes makes me sleepy.
• Why I’m great at starting projects but terrible at finishing them.
• Why my house always looks like a disaster zone.
• Why I juggle five to ten books at once but rarely finish any of them.
• Why I’ve pursued multiple degrees and changed jobs the moment boredom set in.
• Why I’m a perfectionist, a people-pleaser, and absurdly optimistic about time management (spoiler: I’m always late).
Over the last two years, I’ve started to see my ADHD tendencies as both a strength and a challenge. My brain doesn’t have the proverbial “adult in the room”—instead, it’s like a group of teenagers constantly arguing about what to do next. Decision paralysis, burnout, and missed details are common.
But when I do focus, it’s like a superpower. I can work obsessively for hours, completely immersed. Until, of course, I hit a wall of burnout, where nothing feels good enough, and self-doubt creeps in. “Who do you think you are?” my brain whispers.
Why I’m Not Seeking a Diagnosis
After watching my daughter’s diagnostic process, I’ve decided not to pursue one for myself. Here’s why:
1. The System Feels Outdated and Stigmatizing
The questionnaires we filled out for my daughter made me cringe. One had us rank her behavior on a scale from “normal” to “deviant,” with an underlying assumption that ADHD is linked to criminality or lack of control. This kind of framing feels reductive and harmful.
2. I’m Learning to Work With My Brain, Not Against It
Through reflection and self-awareness, I’ve built systems to manage my ADHD-like tendencies:
• Game Theory: Start small and build momentum with easy wins.
• Time Blocking: Commit to focused time for specific tasks.
• Prioritization Systems: Treat creative projects like work, not hobbies, and commit to deadlines.
3. I Want to Help My Daughter See Her ADHD as a Strength
ADHD isn’t something to “fix.” It’s a different way of thinking, with its own challenges and incredible creative potential. I want her to see that she can succeed without feeling like she’s broken.
ADHD and Creativity
As creatives with ADHD, we’re big-picture thinkers, great at connecting ideas and innovating. But we struggle with details, logistics, and follow-through. This can lead to missed deadlines, disorganization, and feeling like we’re failing—even when we’re not.
For many of us, creative work is a sanctuary. But turning it into a livelihood feels impossible when it requires the very structure and consistency we lack. The result? We procrastinate, self-sabotage, and leave projects unfinished.
Moving Forward
ADHD, diagnosed or not, isn’t just about struggles—it’s about seeing the world differently. For me, understanding how my brain works has been a game-changer. It’s allowed me to embrace my quirks and approach work and life with more compassion for myself.
To anyone else navigating this journey, diagnosed or not: You’re not alone. ADHD is not a flaw; it’s a unique way of moving through the world. And with the right tools and mindset, it can become your greatest asset.
